Big Difference Between A Friend and A Follower


In the book, “How to win friends and influence people: In the digital age,” Dale Carnegie and Associates state, “There is a big difference between a friend and a follower.” I couldn’t agree more with them. The photo you are seeing above in this posting is of Aurora, my ten year old stepdaughter. She will grow up thinking that a follower = friend. In fact, I bet she already thinks that.

She will have a very tough time understanding that in the new age of information, those who play old school communication will win more friends, influence more people and on the top of that… will make a better living and I bet, more money.

Think about it. Are you really a friend of someone by simply liking a few postings on twitter? Or Instagram? Is this new idea of communicating on-line primarily the foundation for long-term success in establishing relationships? Can it really be done that way? I don’t think so.

Maybe, the new millennial generation is totally off when it comes to influencing others. No wonder why a number of friendships these days are turning fickle after all! “I like you only if you like me: You stop liking me, I don’t like you!” Stop being with me, you are my enemy! Really?

Sometimes the best friends are those who tell you the truth not what you want to hear. It seems that technology is also impacting the way we define relationships and interact with people long term from this particular point of view. Maybe technology is making our society more polarized and inhumane for technology sake. Gaining another fan or follower does not equate in obtaining another friend! Mutually beneficial relationships on-line are important, alive and well but they themselves aren’t necessary the secret to maintaining long term relationships today. Not having a good old school long term relationship will have an impact in your pocket. It is okay to disagree once in a while, that’s for sure.

Most of us can quickly “see” when folks just want to chat with us for personal benefits — “I like you you if you like me… You stop liking me, I hate you.” Sooner or later, this madness will come to an end, I predict. Human beings might be turning into robots but we are still made of skin, bones, and a soul who can discern between a friend and a follower, reasonable and unreasonable behaviors.

My recipe: Go out, speak with your friends old school, build influence and win real friends. It is okay to have a friend who disagrees with you, once in a while. Use these new technological tools (or should I say techniques) in moderation as they should.  I bet you will live a better and longer life, with more money in your pocket, my friend. That’s what I think.




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